Even though Katelyn and I work in two very different fields--she as an architectural intern at a local residential firm, me as an adjunct instructor at a private university--our jobs both come "to a head" around the holidays. She's trying to finish drawings and details so that they can be sent out to a work site before the office closes down until after the New Year. In the past few weeks, I was preparing my students for the submission of their end-of-semester work and then evaluating their overall semester performance to turn in their final grades. In the midst of all that, I had to travel to Bangor to read end-of-semester portfolios from other teacher's students as well.
These "holiday circumstances" aside, however, the fact that Katelyn and I work in entirely-unrelated fields creates some difficulty in terms of time management for the relationship.
I have previously discussed--in great detail--the internal struggles I've been going through as I try to get used to the concept of not being the "bread-winner" and instead providing a support role in my relationship. I'll try not to re-tread too much of that already well-trodden ground, but it is the truth that I make less than Katelyn and a big part of that is that I only spend two days a week on-site at my job while she is at her job Monday through Friday and sometimes on the weekends (increasingly so in the past few weeks).
This creates difficulty in time situations; Katelyn is gone from 8:30AM until 5:30PM every weekday, save for an hour at lunch in-between. This past semester, I worked at school on Tuesdays and Thursdays; since it's an hour commute each way, I would typically leave around 11:30AM and not return home until 5:30 or 5:45PM.
As a result, the rest of my time during the week is spent in the apartment; cleaning, preparing for class, reading/commenting upon/grading student papers, so on and so forth.
At the end of your average week, all I want to do is get out of the apartment. On the Monday through Friday grind, I see entirely too much of our fourth-floor abode.
By contrast, on the weekends Katelyn is trying to relax and unwind from the week at work. After a week at her job, she's more than earned this reprieve, and she's earned more than just the two days she gets on a good weekend.
And so, like all couples do, we have to make compromises. More often than not, if I really want to get out of the house then I need to figure out where we're going, and I willingly drive wherever we're going so that Katelyn can relax in the car. And at least one day each weekend is given to "vegging out" in the apartment, watching movies on DVD or Netflix to recover some manner of strength before the work week begins anew.
Interestingly enough, though our professions are so different, Katelyn and I share the "job trait" of not having work that ends at "quitting time" each day.
Katelyn often has to work extra time, and even when she doesn't, some nights still find her mentally working out a problem from work and being unable to sleep until she's figured out how to deal with it the next time she goes into work; such attention to detail away from her workspace is, to make an understatement, amazing.
With a Tuesday-Thursday teaching schedule my students typically turn in their papers on the Thursdays and then I endeavor to return their work by the following Tuesday--however, given my propensity for overachieving, I typically try to get their work back by Friday night or Saturday morning (I receive papers by email and send comments by email; my small part in being paperless and saving the Earth). And, since I make myself so available to contact through email, I'm essentially "on-call" 24/7 for any student issues that might need to be sent my way; regardless of what I might be doing on my "own time" outside of class.
It's a tricky little dance, but so far Katelyn and I have been able to keep time with the music. Sappy though it may be, the key is to remember the love we hold for one another, the love that convinced me to give her a ring in the first place and the love that compelled her to say "Yes". As long as we have any time together in the course of a week, free of all work-related stress, it would be hard to forget how much we care for one another.
Now, since I hate posting a blog without pictures; completely unrelated images of Teagan and Gabriel curled up in our bed:
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